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Ibn al-Qayyim on desires and destinations January 1, 2011

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Advice.
4 comments

Unlawful desires are usually associated with ugliness. They leave behind a lingering sensation of pain and guilt. Hence, whenever you are tempted, think about liberating yourself. Think about all the remorse that would accompany the realization of those desires, and then make up your mind. Struggling your way through obedience is not an easy task. It is, however, associated with goodness and soothing pleasures. Whenever you overburden yourself (with unlawful desires) think about how nice it would be to repent and set yourself free. Think about the pleasures that lawful desires will provide and try to make the correct choice. The dilemma you will experience should be reduced by remembering the sweet pleasure and the ultimate happiness that your obedience (to Allah) will provide. Logically, your mind should opt for the more rewarding option and help you to endure the pain of denying yourself the realization of such desires.

Taken from Al-Fawa’id of Imam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah.

Quoted in the following article: Gay, Struggling and in Need of Help

Imam Al-Ghazali on Desire and Deviance July 14, 2009

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Advice, Concepts, Islam.
3 comments

Below are snippets we deemed instructive. You are highly recommended to benefit from the whole book.

AL-GHAZALI ON DISCIPLINING THE SOUL
Short excerpts from Al-Imam Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali’s Ihya’ ‘Ulum ad-Deen
Adapted from translation by T.J. Winter published by the Islamic Texts Society

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Sh. Yasir Qadhi on “Dealing with Homosexual Urges” April 14, 2009

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Advice, Shari'ah.
3 comments

Please see this excellent article by Yasir Qadhi over at Muslim Matters:
Dealing With Homosexual Urges: Yasir Qadhi to Muslim Student

I excerpt this core part for you:

In our religion,  the discussion of whether these urges are because of ‘Nature’ or ‘nurture’ is really quite irrelevant. And by this I do not mean that we don’t have an answer to this question. As Muslims, we believe that the fitrah that Allah created us upon is that, in terms of sexuality at least, opposites attract. But it is possible that some people have corrupted this fitrah themselves, or it has been corrupted by external methods. And it cannot even be ruled out that for some, the change in this fitrah is beyond their control.

But the point  is – and that is why I say the question is irrelevant to the Shar’i ruling –  even if somebody has such urges, it does not justify them acting upon it. Rather, what we can say to those who feel attracted to the same gender is that having such urges and conquering them is a part of the test Allah has given them. Each one of us is tried in different ways, and merely wanting to do an act is not justification enough to carry it out. [...]

I say that I’m attracted to women. Does that legitimize going after every woman I’m attracted to? Of course not. We all have our desires and urges and we must all battle them. So if you experience urges that are unnatural, you must battle them, and without doubt Allah will reward you for that.

Another point to realize is that the urge, in and of itself, is not sinful. It is simply a desire, and desires are beyond our control, hence we are not accountable for them. But to allow such feelings to persist without trying to control them is problematic. In any case, the urge in and of itself is not sinful, acting on the urge is what incurs sin. As long as the desire remains in the realm of feeling, you are not accountable on the Day of Judgment, but the second that this desire is manifested in a physical action, you are liable for all that follows.

Lastly, even if you have acted upon this urge – and we seek Allah’s refuge from this – know that this would constitute a sin. Yes, a major sin, and one that most people would be disgusted by, but realize that it is a sin alone and not kufr. Hence, even acting upon it and committing a major sin does not expel you from the fold of Islam. However, to stand up and justify it, or defend it, or write articles claiming that it is Islamic, without a doubt constitutes kufr, and not merely sin.

I would like to thank the Sheikh for discussing this issue openly, at a time when more of the “Queer Muslim” groups are springing up and promoting their unjustifiable views.

The Season of Change! September 15, 2007

Posted by Mujahid Mustaqim in Advice, Islam.
1 comment so far

On behalf of the brothers and sisters at the StraightWay Foundation, we would like to wish all our readers Ramadan Mubarak. Indeed it is the greatest month of struggle for every Muslim, a time when bad habits can be broken and desires overcome, in preparation for the rest of the year and the rest of our lives. We’re praying for you – please remember us too.

What this blog is NOT about… June 7, 2007

Posted by Taleb Haqq in Advice, Blog.
30 comments

We sometimes get some comments that do not actually get approved.

One sister recently went off on a rant about how “homosexuals will burn in hell” and how our website is full of “hypocrisy”. This, of course, is nonsense and her comment was not approved. We also have the case of a certain someone who doesn’t realize that his IP address is linked to his comments and we can tell that it’s him that is posting. This man keeps on posting confused comments which are anti-Islam, and sometimes quasi-Christian in nature, though he claims to not believe in anything.

Another important point we wish to make here is that this website will NOT be used as a forum to present prejudiced and unsubstantiated opinions about Islamic scholars. If you have a problem with a particular mainstream scholar, please take it up with him/her or create your own blog. We will not allow you to present your hatred for them here. (This is going out to the brother who went off against Sh. Suhaib Webb.)

“Masculinity and infatuation” May 20, 2007

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Advice.
6 comments

An interesting question and answer over at Islam Online’s Cyber Counselling service:

Towards a Healthy Male Role Model

Being patient when tempted April 12, 2007

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Advice, Islam.
22 comments

Excerpt from The Message of Sûrah al-`Asr by Sh. Salman Al-Oadah
(Part 4 – see also Parts 1, 2 and 3).

How can a young man or woman be patient in the face of the temptations and trials that inflame their desires when unlawful gratification is within their easy reach? The best way for such a person to fortify his or her patience is as follows:

1. He should contemplate the greatness of Allah and think that Allah sees him when he is disobedient. Nothing that we do escapes His attention. He sees and hears all things. This is what the Prophet (peace be upon him) meant when he said: “A fornicator is not a believer at the time that he is committing fornication, an imbiber is not a believer while he is engaged in drinking, a thief is not a believer while he is in the act of stealing.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2475) and Sahîh Muslim (57)] this is because a person who is conscious of Allah watching over him will feel ashamed to do the things that Allah has prohibited or to neglect his duties towards Allah. Consider a man who is naked or engaged in some vulgar deed and discovers that someone is looking at him through a crack in the door. Will he not be ashamed and embarrassed? Will he not be unable to look that person in the eye?

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“Struggling in Pakistan” April 3, 2007

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Advice, Responses, StraightWay.
7 comments

There’s another answer on Islam Online’s Cyber Counselling service, following some we’ve highlighted here before. The answer is useful, but it’s sad that once again they have only suggested NARTH as a resource for this struggling Muslim to access: while an interesting site, it won’t provide the answers or support needed from our own religious framework.

The StraightWay Foundation runs a support group for this purpose, where brothers and sisters can share their feelings and experience in a safe environment, and benefit from advice from others in the same situation, plus advisors specialising in the religious and/or psychological aspects of resisting and overcoming same-sex attractions.

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Advice from Suhaib Webb January 17, 2007

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Advice, Islam.
14 comments

Sheikh Suhaib Webb is an American convert to Islam who has studied Islam deeply and is presently pursuing his studies further in Al-Azhar University. His perspective is of great importance to Western Muslims, and God willing, he will continue to bring great benefit in the coming years. Here, he responds to a questioner from Trinidad & Tobago who is considering embracing Islam but is worried about his same-sex attractions.

[See also: "Former Homosexual Wanting to Embrace Islam"]

I am not a Muslim but I met a guy who never drinks or wastes any of his time, which I found to be impressive. While talking to him I realized that he was a Muslim and I started studying the religion. The complications lie in the fact that I have feelings towards men. I know it is wrong. I consider it an abomination. I don’t need anyone to tell me how sinful it is. But I can’t help it. I can stay away from committing the act but the feelings are always there. After reading the other questions about gays on the site they do not help me much. I cannot ignore the feelings and get married. I do not feel any attraction towards women. I need some serious help.

What is your view on a non-practicing homosexual? The feelings exist but not the acts.

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A question of identity November 5, 2006

Posted by Mujahid Mustaqim in Advice, Concepts, StraightWay.
16 comments

A resource I have long been impressed by is the Cyber Counselor section at Islam Online, possibly the biggest Islamic site out there. When I formed StraightWay with its website in 2002, IOL was almost the only place I could find existing resources on Islam and homosexuality, including both rulings and advice. I even enjoyed a short discussion with Dr. Nadia El-Awady, following a research she published there in 2003.

This is a recent question to the Cyber Counselor, with an answer by Hwaa Irfan, the section’s editor:

“Attracted to the wrong kind”

She kindly gave a link to our site, which I’m sorry to say we haven’t updated in a long time. That is set to change soon with a revamp – pray for us please. Some people have felt that this blog is too focused on critique, with not enough advice. That’s possibly true, but once we get the new site going, the balance should be just right, in sha’ Allah.

UPDATE: Here’s another one from IOL: “Fear of What I am Becoming”

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