I very much appreciate your website and the perspective you bring.
We have a discussion group in my community, and were thinking of working on the topic “The Muslim and LGBQT Communities: Is there a possibility for strategic alliances?”. I was wondering if you might be able to give me some advice on this. It’s definitely a contentious issue, and it’s a bit nerve-wracking. I would have emailed you, but I don’t have your contact info. If it would be possible to discuss this with you a bit, I’d really appreciate your advice.

Jazak Allahu khayr,
Sana

I want to clarify an idea here. I am still homosexual but I am not acting on it, however. Life taught me a lot of things through the experience I’ve gone through. In our village, homosexuality is too low and almost does not exist. I knew a person whom I thought wanted to be my friend but later invited me to have a relationship with him in his apartment though he was heterosexual. He wanted nothing but to fulfill his needs. I didn’t accept for sure but this memory made me cry later during night. Society condemns homosexual people and tries to abuse us when it WANTS to! I am no sex object! I am a person who has the full right to live and be happy.

My homosexual friends, keep in mind, IT IS NOT SOCIETY THAT WE SEEK TO SATISFY, BUT RATHER ALLAH! I know what homosexual muslims are going through because I am one of them! My life is calm now because I through myself in a lot of activities and then I forgot to worry. Life is short.

TO MY HOMOSEXUAL FRIENDS, here are some remarks based upon my bitter experiences:

1. Never go into discussions with other muslims around homosexuality because you will get nothing but sadness. If my society prohibited homosexuality, I would be the first one who finds a guy and loves in front of everyone. However, it isn’t society who prohibited this but it is ALLAH! This is why we have to submit and when I say submit, I never mean getting married, NO! It is to be PATIENT and live a SINLESS life!

2. Don’t tell anyone abut your problem because no one is going to be able to help you. ALL what they will suggest is to receive help and if you fail, you will be then condemned and accused of not trying to help yourself on purpose.

3. Don’t look at handsome guys when you come across them, for this has a big effect and it is a golden chance for Satan to misguide you and to tell you that Allah is behind all this, which is wrong! Let’s suppose Allah is trying us, so what? Should I be sad? I know you will say but why me? Why have I done? Why doesn’t he allow homosexual love? I will say: “I have gone through a lot and yet never come up with some explanations” but anyway, I won’t waste my life asking about something that WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED!

4. It is not sex that gives satisfaction to our life. There are so many SUCCESSFUL people in life who got married, and they are miserable. Guys! Explore yourselves! Try to explore the “alternative” gifts you have in you! I did that and I discovered that I got a gift that some normal people said to me verbatim: “I wish I were like you (in the gift you have)” So there are other things and more gifts: scientific success, piety, good health, etc.

In other words, even if we keep defending homosexuality, life will still go on and won’t stop and so will our life!

After I applied these 4 above rules in my life, it turned to be … calm!

I AM HAPPY A LOT THAT I COULD COPE WITH SUCH A HARD TEST!

thanks again and good luck my … chosen friends ^_^

The changes you have made are excellent. They adeptly promote the dignified treatment of SSA Muslims, and unequivocally condemn the violence and abuse which are all too a common experience for them.

I appreciate your openness to the feedback from this reader. You have won my sincere respect and regards.

After I posted on this blog under “Life is hard! – June 1, 2011″, I am feeling like I want to edit the title and say: “Life is calm!” During that time since I posted till now, a lot of changes have happened! I’ve suffered a lot and cried a lot and tried to end my miserable life but could not! I loved a handsome guy from my town and he’s married now. I am fine with what I am right now. However, I have a lot of dreams that have to do with my parents, brothers and my sister and yet nothing to do with ME I feel like I am spiritually paralyzed and have nothing to think of, to worry about or even to cry for! Do you guys believe I AM BORED OF CRYING??!! I am no longer crying for that even when handsome guys look at me, I ignore them as if I am no homosexual and never cry for I can’t have be with them. I do not cry for 2 reasons: first it is because it is COMPLETELY unrealizable and it will NEVER EVER come true and if it comes, I shall be damned and the second reason, crying has got me nothing but pain and misery of which I’m bored as well! My life is calm now! I am gay! I could get over bad memories! I have forgotten all and want to live happily ALONE for the rest of my short life. I feel like my life has been so short as well as cold! Alhamdulilah for everything and I shall go on ALONE today, tomorrow and … forever!

No, I don’t think a statement of this type would refute those who consider your site homophobic. I imagine they are already at odds with your core message (homosexuality is sinful), and modifying any amount of language in your About section will not change that.

I suggest the change in order that this site might more explicitly promote the dignified treatment of SSA Muslims. This is not to say that this site is not already promoting that; since, in my humble opinion, it is. However, SSA Muslims are still quite routinely subjected to physical violence and emotional/psychological mistreatment. As you would agree, this practice only pushes SSA Muslims away from their faith communities. Is this not an important issue that must be addressed immediately and unambiguously?

Like the many who half-read your site without discernment and call it homophobic, many others of the contrary view might do the same, and wrongly assume that it condones violence and mistreatment against SSA Muslims. In your message to the wider Muslim community, you already ask that SSA Muslims should not be ignored nor simply condemned; but rather, you ask that they should be offered help. Unfortunately, many who try to ‘help’ might consider violence and intimidation of SSA Muslims as appropriate means of offering help. Certainly, many of those who perpetrate violence and mistreatment of SSA Muslims are their own friends and loved ones. Wouldn’t explicit condemnation of such practices promote just treatment of SSA Muslims?

The promotion of dignified treatment for SSA Muslims and condemnation of violence against them is already implicit in your website; however, unambiguous terms would have a more powerful effect. The statement would not be a defensive one, as there is no need to become defensive when one speaks the truth. In contrast, it would be an important message, affirming that SSA Muslims have the right (like any other Muslim) to be treated with dignity and respect, without fear of physical violence and emotional/psychological mistreatment. Since this message is already implicit in your website, why not make it discernible to the wider readership by stating this in more explicit terms?