About
Whom do we want to talk to with this blog, Eye on Gay Muslims?
And what, in brief, do we want to say to them?
EVERYONE
Here’s what Islam has to say about homosexuality, including the distinction between actions and attractions. We present the facts and entertain debate, without prioritising anyone’s agenda over the truth.
SAME-SEX ATTRACTED MUSLIMS
You’re not sinful for feeling how you do, but you must strive not to do anything that Allah has forbidden. This in itself is a means of attaining His reward. You are not alone in this struggle, and you may even overcome the unwanted feelings altogether.
SELF-IDENTIFYING “GAY MUSLIMS”
You cannot justify homosexual activity in the light of divine revelation, and no doubt it is all sinful. Understand Islam properly, realise that even the identity of being “gay” is problematic and un-Islamic, and repent to Allah, who is Forgiving, Merciful.
THE WIDER MUSLIM COMMUNITY
Don’t ignore the struggle so many sincere Muslims are going through. And even those who are sinful, don’t content yourselves with condemning them. Try to understand the Religion of Mercy better, so that you can be of help and not just push people away from Islam.
OTHER RELIGIOUS COMMUNITIES
You can decide for yourselves how you interpret your scriptures, but it is disappointing just how few people are willing to stick to the beliefs that the Prophets brought. Homosexuality has always been forbidden: we, at least, abide by this.
NON-RELIGIOUS PEOPLE
You might disagree with our beliefs - consider them “homophobic” - but it’s not our goal to please you. That being said, we would like to clarify what Islam says for you in order that you may understand things before judging them. Everything has its context.
You can contact the blog owner, Rasheed Eldin, at this address: straightwayislam@gmail.com
Some people ask: why use the domain “gaymuslims.org”, while being critical of homosexuality? First, bear in mind that our title is "Eye on Gay Muslims".
I think it is unhelpful to use terms like "gay" that bracket people into a "sexual orientation", a concept I think is false. So in that sense, I don't believe there are really "gay people" on the meaning of people with a homosexual orientation, and therefore obviously no such thing as "gay Muslims".
However, the fact is that this is the standard way of speaking about it, and most people who approach StraightWay for help do so saying that they think they're gay, or that they are definitely gay but want to change. They aren't used to thinking of SSA as merely something they experience, as opposed to an identity-defining factor.
So the title of the blog reflects this fact, and includes the fact that the blog also aims at bringing to light the statements and activities of those people who call themselves "gay Muslims" and are proud of that.
Finally, the average person would have no idea what was meant by a title which included "SSA Muslims". Oh, and they would go and visit the site called "Gay Muslims", which we would have left to be run by the less Islamically-oriented people.
As-salaamu Alaikum,
It is great to see this blog. Keep up the good work!
Very nice. I’ve added you to the blogroll.
Thanks Dr. M,
Added you here as well.
Salam
salam.
let me start like this. i hate myself. why? because i like man-im a gay. non of my family members & friends know that im a gay. only two persons know that im gay. even im a gay but i always try to avoid to meet any man. i dont want to be gay BUT my feeling is, i like man. that is why i hate myself and sometime i really want to blame on GOD because of this homo feeling. im already close to 40 but still single because i know that i cant be a husband – its lying. i even not looking any man to be my boyfriend. the situation really making me crazy. i hate to face my future. i hate myself, really hate myself. how long i have to face this …sometime i just telling myself that just find somebody-a man, and having sex…but i still want to keep myself ‘clean’ from any home sexuallity, but how long i can keep my virginity? this is really making me stupid, crazy & just hate myself. i hate this world. sometime i think i better kill myself-suicide-but the problem is our religion didnt allow it. but how can i live like this-without sex, lying about my sex orientation when people ask me why im still singe etc. all these making me stupid in this world…i hate everything
walaykom as ssalam br. Mokhtar,
I am really sorry that you are going through a hard time. I assure you that I know what you are going through. Brother, remember that this is your life and it is a journey of tests, failures, and successes insha’ allah. You are not alone in this struggle there are many others like you who are dealing with these very issues. I urge you to visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StraightStruggle You will find people there in the same boat as you and you can share ideas about how to deal with this struggle. Although your talk of suicide is alarming I trust that you are of good faith for keeping steadfast for this long. Nothing is worth throwing our faith away over. Please do keep in touch either through here or through the group.
May Allah guide you and everyone.
As ssalam o alaykom
MashaAllah, excellent site and resource. The majority of my friends throughout Jr. High School to College were bi-or homosexual, and I have always believed that Muslim Scholars and people, instead of blindly cursing should find ways to reach out to those with same sex attractions and find ways and what they can do to deal with it.
Like you have mentioned, everyone has their different trials and tribulations and the ’sin’ lies in how you act in response to your trials. Will the woman whose entire family die in one day curse God and commit suicide? Or will she be patient and firm in belief? Will the man who has some kind of obssessive-compulsive sex disorder have sex with every woman he meets, or will he restrain himself and fast? Or an alcoholic who repents but falters; doesn’t she/he continue to pray and ask for help? Likewise, someone with same-sex attractions can find ways to curb his/her sexual desire, pray and ask for God’s help, and if he/she marries in hopes to try to change, you can try to find someone who could be understanding, and tell them your situation and then it would not be a lie. Maybe they can find a way to arouse you, etc.
Nowhere in Islam does it say that we will be punished for our temptations. What counts is our intention and striving to try to improve our condition, and abstain from mindlessly acting upon our primal desires, whatever they may be.
Okay i think it’s fair enough to not ‘categorize’ sexuality and refer to what people generally think of as gay as Same Sex Attraction.
what about categorizing people as ’straight’? does this not stem from the presumption that everyone is straight, or should be? why would god give us these feelings if we were not supposed to act on them in a religiously defined way (and it is due time to rule on gay-muslim marraiges as islamic)? can i ask ’straight’-muslims to also abstain from sex even within the bounds of marraige forever, while i do the same? try to think on these questions a little bit more than just invoking Lut or socially constructed homosexual prohibitions.
Dear GMN,
God created us all and taught us to stive to reach an ideal. There are many many aspects to that ideal that we can stive to achieve and many things that we need to stay away from. People that are struggling with attractions to the same sex should not be acting upon them. This site deals with things from an Islamic prespective so I don’t understand how you can expect us not to “invoke Lut”. Allah, the Almighty, you and my Creator, “invoked” Lut many times in the Qur’an to teach us lessons from his story. May God grant us the guidance to be aware of Him and make us of those who are believers and strugglers in the path of this religion.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
there are specifically four lines in the whole quran that mentions the ‘abominations’ of the ‘people’ of Lut mating or lying or partnering with males instead of females (the presumption being here that the ‘people’ Lut is talking to are all men, but anyway). Now from my understanding, the quran is much bigger than those four lines, so how about reading the whole thing, and understanding the laws derived from it in its historical and cultural context? let me ask just one question – forget the ‘lifestyle’ of being ‘gay’ or the image that the media portrays of queer people, but just think about one muslim marrying another muslim in a way ordained by islam, the only difference is that they are both of the same sex. they both lead an islamic lifestyle that would be the envy of even hetero muslims. how is this a bad thing? why take away this choice away from queer muslims, leaving them with alternatives in which they would either be miserable (what if god made heteros so miserable?), or alienated from islam?
This is not the page for such comments. But let me give a very brief response…
1. It doesn’t matter how many “lines” in the Qur’an say it. Alcohol is forbidden in less than four “lines”. And how many “lines” forbid murder?
2. I am not the one taking away “choice” from SSA Muslims, but they have the choices that Islam gives them. Marriage can be an option, but not between 2 men or 2 women, because these do not fit the definition of marriage in the Qur’anic/Islamic law sense.
I will write a post addressing these issues soon, God willing.
GMN,
Does this website look alienating to you? My dear brother, just because something seems good does not mean that it is Islamically sound. Take wine as an example, it is acknowledged that wine has some benefits, but its harm outweighs its benefit and wine is completely forbidden in Islam.
Nobody is saying be miserable, but rather, we encourage these strugglers to find strenght in their faith in order to lead them through this life towards the hereafter, God willing.
Jazakallah Kahir for this Blog, we need more like these
Salaam, and thanks for the comment and the link!
Salam, i’ve not read the entirety of your blog, i’ve only just discovered it from muslim apple’s blog. Before I dig around, i just want to commend you guys on putting this blog out there. For having the character to take the crap, the spam, the insults and the stupidity. Above all, is stupidity forgiveable? I’d have to say no
see you … hopefully on my blog
Salaam sister, I’m committed to say that ANYTHING is forgiveable… with sincerity, but ultimately only by Allah’s mercy. Take care.
I’m gay, and have read in so many places that I can’t even call myself a Muslim because of my attractions and desires to be with men. The Quran says no one is burdened with what they cannot handle, but how can I believe this when day in and day out I see that I’m attracted only to men, and that unless I decide to remain celibate my whole life, I’m going to hell. What kind of test forces me to choose celibacy and self-denial of my most primal urges? Other people have to abstain from drinking alcohol, eating pork, etc., but we on the other hand are denied the most basic primal urges known to man – sex. There is no way I can marry a woman because bringing a god-fearing woman into this mess is despicable, and subjecting her to a sexless marriage is terrible. I’ve tried to become closer to God, and have asked millions of times for him to change me. Afterall, how else are you suppose to change if you dont turn to God? Well, I’ve turned to God already, and he hasn’t done anything to help me, so either I was meant to be gay, there is no God, I have mental issues (and shouldn’t be punished), or people’s interpretations of homosexuality within Islam are totally wrong. What concrete suggestions can you give me to become straight? All I hear time and time again is “get closer to Allah,” but no one seems to realize that such suggestions dont work for millions of homosexual Muslims out there. We’ve tried, but look where we are today. I’ve emailed religious leaders to pray for me, and have gotten no response, and I haven’t changed. This cant be a journey I undertake myself, and if a man of God can’t even help me, then there is no hope at all. If nothing changes (and I’ve tried my hardest to change) then I will simply leave the fold of Islam because either way I go to Hell.
Salam Rizwan,
Welcome to the blog, may it benefit you inshallah. Islam is a lifelong lifestyle that we follow on our journey towards God. You are not alone in your struggles, there are many and we share advice and thoughts. You might want to join this yahoo group where these issues are discussed, there’s a wealth of information in the history of messages that have been sent: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StraightStruggle
As a first step, do examine your behaviours in terms of why you think you have these attractions and what triggers them. One of the most effective ways of dealing with same-sex attractions is to build stronger and healthier male relationships. This can be discussed at length on the group inshallah.
Salam brother.
As-salamu alaikum.
Has anyone truly made it to the other side? Has anyone, through Allah’s grace, manage to rid himself completely of same sex attractions? If so, I would like to read your story.
I have been fighting this battle with Allah’s help for many years. The approach that has worked best for me is the same approach you describe – cut the identification with a “gay identity,” limit exposure to erotic imagery, stay ever-vigilant of how your mind and desire react to outside stimulii – and use what you observe about yourself to keep them on a very short leash.
These techniques work very well, especially when you combine them with patience, faith, certitude and determination. And I have come to understand that you really can get this beast under control. But will I ever be rid of the underlying feelings completely? They are still there, though they don’t have the power they used to. I am starting to believe that I will for the rest of my life be vulnerable to these attractions to some degree.
So to my original question – has anyone had the experience of Allah by His grace completely dispelling these attractions forever? If so, please – I would like to hear your story.
Salaams.
Not even straight muslims truely understand what we are going through. They can advise us to get closer to Allah, i havent even tried that yet. Im 27 years old, never had a sexual encounter with a man or woman, but find men attractive. I hate myself just like the rest. Family is getting thoughts about getting me married, and apart from this website, i have not mentioned to ANYONE that i am homosexual. Dont know what life holds for me, if i have to get married then i will, and i know that the approach to my wedding will be full of sleepless nights, stress and depression. After the wedding im going to be miserable, and followed by further depression. I will experience hell on earth and hell in the hereafter. I dont know the answer to your question Khabir, and im sure you visit this regularly to see if anybody has posted any reponses to your question “anyone successful in changing sexual orientation”. I too type this in search engines to make myself feel better, i have not seen any muslim post on any website to say that he has changed and how they did this. WE eill make ourselves feel better pretending to be straight, but when time comes, its going to be too late. Allah please show us the right path.
Salam Anon, brother, what is important is that we follow God’s commandments to the best of our abilities. The point is not necessarily to “change sexual orientation”, the point is to be able to deal with same-sex attractions as they come and, of course, not to fall into same-sex encounters. Stay strong my brother and insha’Allah you will find help and solace in the group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StraightStruggle
I too struggled with feelings of guilt, worthlessness and disgust untill I realised that I was winding myself up unnecessarily.
Just come to the conclusion that there is nothing right or wrong about being gay but anyway it is not desirable and just live by the rules whatever they are. that is life, it’s about keeping safe and keeping out of trouble untill you pass the test at the end. moreover you may have been even more unfrotunate if you’d woken up into this world with some sort of physical disability. so don’t fret. you won’t die if you don’t live a family life. and don’t get married if you think that will do injustice to yourself and your poor wife no matter how hard the parents push you.
keep safe till you meet your maker the way he likes you to be not the way you think you should be because apparently that is irrelevant.
cheers
I can’t believe I found this site. I basically just came across it. I am up writing a paper for my graduate class and could not concentrate so I decided to search the web. I find it to be a bit of sign that it was in this blessed month of Ramadan that I came across your site becuase my din has almost deminished. I used to be religious and pray. I would pray that my desires would go away, that god would make me straight, more masculine and the list goes on. I have fought my feminine attributes and have molded myself into a masculine man to fit societies norms becuase it is still hard being a gay man with feminine attributes in the secular world. I know I am all over the place with this blog, I haven’t thought out what to say, but that I am a man who is not only sexually attracted to but have been sexual active with men since i was 19. It has been seven years since I became active. Over the years, my parents found out, they never turned their back on me but just prayed for me. I concentrated on my education and now I am getting my masters degree. Material wealth, I have an abundance of, but I am not happy. I always wanted to be straight, but of lately, I was becoming more comfortable with being gay. I even started to come out to friends. My biggest struggle is that I would try to be straight but I am now HIV positive. How can I marry anyone now? My parents are devasted and we have been dealing with this since late 2004 when I was diagnosed. My mother is going for Ummrah tomorrow to pray for me once again. Everyone asks her when her handsome smart son will get married, old girlfriends want me to pay them attention. I feel so shameful that my parents who are very devout have to deal with a son like me. I am their first child. I know its hard for them. But the pyschological stress that sexuality puts on us as “gay” men, I do not think any straight person can relate to. I have tried and just like other sins and test after the month of Ramadan passes I loose hope. I don’t know, maybe there still is hope…of lately I feel as if im going slightly insane, without it being visible to outsiders. I take full responsibility for my actions, but becoming infected, it seems as if I almost lost hope. It has become my biggest test, sexuality taking second place to disease. I guess it is idealistic to think I can marry another Muslim man, although I know I have that option. I know a man who is willing to be with me regardless of my HIV status. I just don’t think a woman, especially a Muslim woman with the additional constraints culture puts on them, could look past it. What suggestions do you have for a person like me. I feel damned. Like im already living in hell. I am paying for my sins in this life I suppose. I also told myself this was my jihad, I wish to be stronger in fighting it. My fight in life has become a fighting to live for the rest of my life.
Salaam, brother.
Alhamdulillah that you found this site. It is never too late to learn how to control same sex attractions (ssa), if that is what you want to do. Even if you are not sure about this, you owe it to yourself to consider the option.
Many brothers with ssa have benefited from a support group designed exclusively for Muslims who are waging this battle within themselves. Here is the link: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StraightStruggle . As others on this blog have explained, the site contains a wealth of information in its archives. It also provides a safe, private and compassionate environment in which to discuss ssa and issues related to it.
May Allah grant you his mercy and compassion during this blessed month and always.
Brother fight4life,
One more thought. Please forgive me, I cannot get your story out of my head. Remember that Allah is the most forgiving, most compassionate. There is a reason He is called the Most Beneficent, Most Merciful. Allah can do anything, brother. He can and He will.
I would humbly call your attention to the story featured on the homepage of this blog. Brother Ayub’s story is not as uncommon as you might think.
Please don’t despair brother, with every burden also comes Allah’s deepest compassion, forgiveness and learning. The burdens contain lessons, the benefits of which you can’t even begin to imagine.
I pray that you find the guidance you are seeking. And Allah knows best.
This is quite an interesting blog. I’m glad I stumbled upon it, insha’Allah it will help me to change. I want to thank you for introducing StraightStruggle. If it hadn’t been for your site I would never have heard of it. I’m hoping they can help me to change – I’m not saying I’ve lost faith in Allah, but I’m sure I’m going about things the wrong way in getting His attention.
Before I rant on, being ‘gay’ is anything but its dictionary definition – the man (or woman) that coined the term should be shot if he’s not dead already!
I’ve been ‘of the gay’ for as long as I can remember now. I don’t know for sure how it came about, but I was aware of something different about myself since the age of 7. When I was about 9 I was abused most nights by my cousin, maybe that was a trigger, I don’t know. I suppose it doesn’t matter now. But, I forgave him long ago (not to his face, but through dua – I don’t want to embarass him by confronting him). After all, how is Allah to forgive us if we can’t forgive each other.
I’ve read up in lots of places of remedies to cure ‘the gay’, i.e. dua, fasting, dhikr etc. I’ve tried punishing my nafs by extreme fasting (iftari to iftari without food, eating a miniscule amount to break the fast) – it’s good for the short term. Dhikr fills my heart to bursting point with joy and love for Allah and his Rasool (pbuh), but doesn’t make me any less gay.
I guess I’m trying to say that people don’t choose to be gay – it chooses them. Why would I choose to hate and punish myself every day? Why anybody would choose oppression over freedom beats the hell out of me!
im 28 years old gay Moslem’s..ive been thru all the advices like some mentioned..and ist not working..gay is not a disease it cant be healed.
i just want to say:
if you gay..just be it..you can’t b married but u can use the essence of the marriage in you m2 m relationship..
dont even think whether is right or wrong..the right or wrong is for God to decide .. as human..just live what u think God has give..
Brothers Ihsan and Rafiqqq,
We believe that dealing with SSA is a long process that involves understanding them, understanding yourself and understanding the religion. For sure, saying that people choose SSA makes no sense. But saying that it’s natural and must be submitted to is certainly not the only alternative! And everything in our religion opposes that notion.
Rafiqqq, it’s true that right and wrong is for Allah to decide – but He (swt) has already decided, and has revealed His guidance in the Qur’an and Sunnah. So these are our criteria of judgement. Do you not worry that when you say something like that, you are earning His anger upon yourself? Such a statement is actually a sign of someone trying to be the Judge when that is none but Allah alone.
May He guide us all.
Marriage: a man and a woman as husband and wife.
Do not change the definition.
DO NOT chose to disbelieve just because you want to fulfill your sexual desires….However, I hope all of you have faith.
Zack, the definition has changed already.
I want to point something out to you. You don’t chose to believe or disbelieve. It comes naturally as you consider the facts, evidence or are influenced (form early childhood) by indoctrination. Of course faith wavers at times (especially if you stop volunteering to be brainwashed) you can strengthen it at other times (when you drive more delusions into your head). However the basic state of belief in something is a consequence of another mechanism.
At least this is how I percieve reality. Of course experience tells me I’m not the only one who operates this way.
To clarify things furter let me give another example. It would be difficult for you to chose to disbelieve that radio waves do not exist. When it comes to homosexuals we are bombarded by this fact: we are dead sure of our innate feelings. One can mistrust any aspect of reality around him/her and some will argue that what you perceive as reality is an illusion: for example the concept of ‘time’ is largely artificial and the sensation of ’solid’ is an illusion as we know that all matter is made of non-solid components.
I can’t disbelieve my body when it feels fear or senses warmth. To do this I’d have to be in a psychotic state. If the innate senses tell you you’re homosexual and an abstract supernatural voice tells you you shouldn’t be then you begin to question: what else did this imaginary friend get wrong? Can I trust it?
Bravo, how very pseudo-Cartesian. However, note the following flaws in your explanation:
(1) A comparison between electromagnetic waves and emotional feelings. How is this established?
(2) A comparison between feelings and propositional knowledge – how does a body “tell you you’re homosexual”: how does the body define the meaning of this (modern) terminology in the first place?
[No I'm not thick, I know what you're trying to say. But if you said it correctly, it would be clear that your argument doesn't stand like you think it does.]
(3) A complete lack of understanding of what we have explained at great length on this blog re: distinction between feeling and being, and between attractions and actions.
Where exactly was I comparing electromagnetic waves with emotional feelings?
And I share the views of your guests who found your attempt at creating a distinction betwee feeling and being as a totally nonsensical proposition.
I have to say that you’ve lost me completely on point two above. I don’t know what exactly are you asking. How does a body tell you your homosexual? I suppose the same way it tells you you’re happy or sad. I may not have answered your question but perhaps you can repharse that paragraph.
I’m not keen on playing ping-pong with you, even though it’s Eid!
We are dealing with detailed arguments here, and your first duty if you want to engage with them is to read them (in their articles) and critique according to their premises and structure.
Rasheed, you haven’t answered a single point from my last entry and yet you want to burden me with more of your articles?
The problem with you is that you want get away with falsity. Again I ask you, where did I compare electromagnetic waves to emotions? Why should anyone buy into the thought/being schism? Why can’t you make sense when you ask questions (such as the incredibly impenetrable jibberish that is point 2 on entry 33).
Anyhow Eid Mubarak
Oh yawn. If you don’t want to read my articles, stop coming to my blog. The point is, this is an “About” page, not a ping-pong with Bravo page. This’ll be the end of it.
1./ You said: “It would be difficult for you to chose to disbelieve that radio waves do not exist. When it comes to homosexuals we are bombarded by this fact: we are dead sure of our innate feelings.”
So you compared the surety of the existence of radio (electromagnetic) waves (which can be perceived by unconscious instruments) to feelings that exist within a person (and cannot even be experienced directly by another person). I don’t know how you forgot what you wrote!
3.(since you advanced it)/ Simple – a person is more complex than their sexual feelings or anything else that goes on inside. If those feelings change, does the person’s identity change? Maybe in some sense, so we can say that sexuality is part of identity. But should it be a DEFINING factor? Rather than me explaining why NOT, it’s upon the one who says so to explain why.
2./ My “jibberish” was only an attempt to be concise in responding to your extended waffle. To help you out: if the term “homosexual” has only come to be defined in a certain way within the last few decades, what definition does the body use when it “tells you” as you said? Or rather, what on earth does it mean for a body to “tell” anything propositional (if you don’t know what this word means, you might consult a philosophy book, or Wikipedia!)
You yawn but keep coming back for more. Are you interested in this discussion or not? If that’s ‘the end of it’ and a full stop I would’ve understood. But the ‘end of it’ followed by three paragraphs demands a response. This conversation is not for your entertainment, you’r not ping-ponging with me. We’re discussing an issue we both feel is important.
So you’re smart enough to see how waves and emotions are incomparable. It’s because of this fact that I used them as examples to illustrate how the process of attaining faith can come about in completely different ways. You saw the words ‘waves’ and ‘emotions’ and nothing else.
Before I begin I need to make sure you understand the difference between ‘comparing’ and ‘contrasting’. Here it comes.
I am no physicist. Even if I was I’d still need some form of instrument to detect the waves. However I believe radio waves exist because I see that the evidence can be readily corroborated by independent observers. That would hold true even if I didn’t interact with them myself on a daily basis every time I turn my radio on.
On the other hand my belief in my homosexuality comes from first hand experience. I sense it, my mind interprets directly. It’s straightforward and, more importantly, in no need of any complex deductions or complicated interaction with my surroundings (such as learning a new science or obtaining a piece of technology to detect waves).
For that reason I refuse any form of interjection such as when you try to invent this apparently new branch of existential philosophy to try to convince ME what or how I should perceive MY OWN innate feelings whether it be homosexuality or whatever.
Should identity/feelings be a defining factor?
Yes. A person is not more complex than their feelings. A person is as complex as or as simple as their constituent form. If I was a depressed homosexual Atheist and then became a euphoric heterosexual Theist then either of these descriptions are appropriate for me at either of these points. The way I think defines how I will interact with society and for all practical purposes I am what I am at that point in time. Not part this and whole that.
Got any problems with that? It’s the concordance of feelings with thoughts that distinguishes you from your demented relative, intoxicated colleague or any crazy stranger.
Finally.
What does a body tell me when I feel homosexual?
Answer: I feel homosexual. Attracted sexually to men. Stop right there and cut out the smart talk.
Bravo, I actually don’t mind this discussion – just the fact that it’s in this thread, and therefore may eventually be pruned like others that have preceded it. If it contains worthwhile material, that may find its way into a future post.
Let’s leave the radio-wave analogy and come to the point. I am not trying to deny your feelings or tell you how you must choose to interpret them. We do have a problem of knowing what those feelings are, and how they compare to the experiences of others. For all you know, I might experience effectively the same, and interpret it differently. We can then just concentrate on rights – “Every person’s right to interpet his/her own feelings however he/she chooses.” However, and frankly, I’m not very interested in debating that. I’m focusing on the matter of how this (plausible) self-definition finds its way into public (philosophical, anatomical, psychological…) discourse.
Let’s go back to what your body “tells you”. Now, I assert that there is a distinction between the proposition “I am attracted sexually to men” and the strange one: “I feel homosexual” – what can we compare this latter one with? “I feel sick”? (I’m not poking fun.) “I feel happy”? But it’s not a physical or emotional thing in exactly those ways. So why say that your body “tells you” something, rather than just sticking to saying that you experience feelings, and those feelings lead you (and not everyone in the same boat) to particular conclusions?
It is these conclusions that I am analysing philosophically (in what you derisively call “smart talk”). I say that the concept of “homosexuality” (as opposed to empirically acceptable “same sex attractions”) is a strange (recently invented) notion that I am by no means compelled to accept on the basis of the evidence, whether from your feelings, mine or the sum total of everybody’s. I can believe in the same facts while using a different discourse. That’s what we’re doing here, and we have good reason (Islamically) to do this despite the confusion it causes some homosexualist dogmatists.
Even without a religious context I feel that your denial of ‘homosexuality’ as an identity is an effort to assimilate all homosexuals under a category that includes those who are capable of heterosexual relations but only suffer with these SSA tendencies part of the time. You need to figure out whether this would be representative of reality.
Kinsley tried to answer this question and conducted his research to that end. On what empirical basis do you base your conclusions? On the reality of the sexual map of primates or on something different?
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah!
I make my sincerest shokor to Allah to come to this blog site. It seems quite incredible to me that such sites exist for those who are struggling all the time.
I read the HOME page and was going through the ABOUT page. The earlier messages were more or less the same. Newcomers shared almost the same feelings and I was wondering to meet so many people alike me. In deed, I like this blog and hope to visit this one quite regularly.
My pleasant feelings turned into some bitter taste when I reached the “ping-pong” game between “Bravvooo” and my brother Rasheed Eldin. I could realize that there are some fanatic who doesn’t want to realize even if you show them all the evidence. I appreciate the patience of brother Rasheed. I remember the tales of Bani Israel as narrated in the Holy Quran. I don’t understand, if you do not want to abide by the laws of Islam – it’s your choice. Why to argue with others to legalise an illegal thing? The scriptures of Islam can’t be changed alike the previous ones. If you are satisfied with your “gay” lifestyle, why care what brother Rasheed says? Why waste your time to read his replies and prepare a new response? Why care?
May Allah show you the right way….(but unfortunately there are some people, whose eyes are covered)
Meh I’m gonna keep this short and sweet! I’m gay and very much proud of it. Am I gonna change my identity for islam? hell no! What is the point of living a lie and trying to rid myself of homosexuality? Why should I live a life of unhappiness!
Fawaz,
Are you not living a lie right now? What was the point of people giving up alcohol for Islam? Was alcohol not making them happy? If you’re not going to give something up for the sake of God, then for whose sake would you be willing to give it up for? Would you rather be “happy” in this life or in the eternal afterlife?
Salam.
Mujahid
Do you want to ping pong with me or what?…LOL just kidding.
Why do I care what Rasheed says? Well Islam is not a matter of “take it or leave it”.
I was no convert able to pull out without any harm done. I belong to this community. I also happen to come from a place where you will certainly be killed if you are caught in the act.
I’m appalled by this and can not pretend that I understand the logic behind it. What is your problem with homosexuality? If Rasheed belonged to some eccentric sect I wouldn’t even talk to him but he bleongs to a powerful majority and unless we argue our case we will continue to live a misearble life. All for the sake of bronze aged literature. Sorry but you can’t fool all people all the time. Some will eventually see through the emptiness of your arguments.
Any ping pong champions welcome to explain what the fuss is all about or otherwise leave your “brothers” in peace.
I have to admit I feel guilty when people feel disappointed by reading my post but this is the beauty of the internet.
Step One:
You recognise you’re not the only one with this condition. You feel happy and then…
Step Two:
You engage in discussion, tell us what you think, whatever you say will strike a chord with some lonesome thinker out there and something usefull might be borne of your discussions.
There is no point in recongizing you feel part of a larger group and spend the rest of your life feeling happy about it. You need to move on, move, move, move.
Get me?
Mujahid wrote:
“I could realize that there are some fanatic who doesn’t want to realize even if you show them all the evidence.”
What evidence ? What we’ve been doing is debating ideas not examining evidence. In fact the only time any of us brought up any evidence was when I mentioned the Kinsley studies but Rasheed simply ignored that. It is very odd that I am protrayed as the one who dodged the evidence when I was the one to ever bring any into the discussion.
Taleb
Nope – what lie am I exactly living now? I don’t understand why I should give my homosexuality for god or anyone? If you understood how distant I was from Islam maybe you’d see why i’m not going to change. I’m gay, drink alcohol, have had sex…..have never prayed in my life, have never read the qur’an etc….I just wish people would stop thinking that it’s possible to hide these feelings – it’s asking for the impossible. Meh we’re never going to agree.
Fawaz,
We probably won’t. The lie you are living is in the consequences to your actions. Brother, if you believe in something then you must truly live it. It is not impossible, there are many others who are dealing with these feelings and are leading their lives in a satisfying manner. Just because you chose not to doesn’t mean that others can’t / won’t.
All the best and may we all be guided.
Salam.
Hey.
Ive commited a homosexual act, and feel really bad about it. I’m not actually homosexual, it was just a stupid thing I did and I regret doing it. Now the guilt is killing me, and everyone people I’ve spoken to have said that if you commit an action like this you are condemned to hell – period. I want to know if this is the case, or if I can repent my sins, whatever it may take.
Thankyou.
Dear “Lost”,
Islam is very clear on the following fact: no matter what sin you have committed, the door of repentance is always open – so don’t believe anyone who thinks they know better than Allah!
{Say, O my servants who have transgressed against their own selves, do not despair of the Mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins – truly He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.} [39:54]
This means that Allah will forgive whomever He chooses whatever He wills, so what’s needed is sincere repentance to Him. You already regret what you did, now make a sincere resolve never to fall into that mistake again, and beg Allah to cover you with His mercy and keep you safe and strong as long as you live.
If you need further advice please get in touch.
What is the bigger sin – being an ‘ordinary’ gay person, or being a heterosexual paedophile?
Dear Mohammed,
That’s an interesting question, in that it highlights the problems created by words that are not properly defined. I’ll answer it insha’Allah after trying to clarify the meaning of the question and cast it in more suitable words.
First of all, remember that Islam does not teach us that people are good or bad simply for what labels hang off them: it is a person’s faith and actions that raise or debase him in this life and the next. So if by “gay”/”heterosexual” and “paedophile”/”normal” (your words!) you were only referring to internal feelings, then I’d have no reason to say that one person is better than another – if we know nothing further about them.
However, I presume that by “gay person” (or homosexual), you mean somebody who is actually carrying out homosexual acts with an adult partner-in-sin or more, and by “paedophile” you mean somebody who abuses children (and in your scenario, presumably only children of the opposite sex).
So who is worse? The true answer is that Allah knows best, and it may not be possible to generalise. If you want my opinion: I would say that the paedophile is worse because he is combining committing a perverted act with the crime of abusing a child and perhaps causing irreparable damage to that young life.
Of course, if you only asked the question rhetorically, I hope you benefited from the exercise in definitions anyway!
I have been attracted to men since i was 11. I have tried everything to turn straight i.e. prayer, fasting, groups. Nothing works. I am now 30. It is always heterosexual people who think it is easy to be straight. How patronising. They have no idea. You dont choose who you are attracted to. Just like heterosexual guys dont choose to be attracted to females. It just happens. No gay muslim would choose their lifestyle. My conclusion is that if Islam is a true religion then I would not be born gay. Hence, Islam is just another belief system as is christianity, juudaism,etc. Thyey are all founded on the beief that if you dont fit into their mould then you go to this place called hell. What a l.oad of rubbish
Mohammad,
You say you tried everything – if that’s true, and nothing worked for you, you still shouldn’t declare yourself the sole expert in this matter. Plenty of people would disagree with you, and not just ‘those ignorant heteros’ either!
I take it that you haven’t yet read much on this site, because if so you’d realise that we don’t say that people choose who they’re attracted to! But we say that people can choose what to do in life, and anyone who argues with that, well… let them make a convincing argument.
Feel free to browse and ask any questions, and perhaps later we’ll prepare an article specially to talk about some of the issues you raised in the latter part of your comment.
Rasheed,
I am glad that you recognize that sexual attraction is not a choice. Our general dialog about this matter would be much improved if everyone acknowledged this fact. You say that it is possible for people’s unwanted desires to diminish. Unless you are referring to an overall diminishing in sex drive as we age, this claim is disingenuous. There is no credible evidence that a diminishing in same sex desire has ever been achieved through any method, religious or otherwise. I challenge you to show credible research on this, not just anecdotal testimony. Personal stories are moving, but they hardly qualify as credible evidence for such a claim.
Also, not acting on same sex desire because of a textual prohibition is only feasible in theory, not practice, if our goal is to create a happy, whole, and honest human being. Humans need companionship of a kind unattainable in normal friendship. By prohibiting homosexuals, or whatever you want to call same sex attracted individuals, the hope of ever finding this much needed companionship is tantamount to unpardonable cruelty. I don’t care what you find in text or how you interpret it, because the Quran was written during a certain time period to a specific tribe of people, who’s cultural practices differed immensely from our own. If you claim that those words are timeless, that is a belief based on faith, not evidence, and it is surely your right to believe so. Not since Francis Bacon has it been acceptable in debate to present your faith based beliefs as evidence for the formation of an opinion. So if I choose to believe that all texts are living documents, and that God holds us to ever increasing standards of Just treatment of each other, and expects us as rational beings to take into account the evidence he presents to us in the experienced world, you have no right to even suggest that I am condemned for that belief. I also challenge you, without invoking the argument of faith, to explain why others who are genuinely suffering should impose your beliefs on their own lives.
Respectfully
Josef
Dear Josef,
Thanks for asking about credible research: given that we’re not a research institute, we’re not in a position to produce this for you. If other readers are aware of papers of particular interest, they’d be welcome to direct me to them and I can forward on the info. But we should note that this field of research is undoubtedly highly politicised, and I personally don’t find a great deal of benefit over arguing whether over which penguins did what to each other, or who went through traumatic experiences with one crackpot group after another and became an ex-ex-ex-ex-gay!
So while I acknowledge that anecdotal evidence will not fulfil the criteria of all discerning readers, that’s what we can offer for now – and what is research (into feelings) other than a collection of anecdotes? Our main point here is to point out the Islamic position on the issues at hand, and give direction for people who wish to live in accordance with its teachings. We say Islam teaches us to change, and so we must affirm that change is possible. Some people come and insist that it’s not possible. Well for those among us who can testify to their own experiences, such a notion doesn’t hold any water. Just because change may not be possible for everyone, that doesn’t negate its being possible in the universe at large.
As for the theological arguments, I don’t see that this page is the right place to get into them. If you were in a position of belief in the same text (and sharing an understanding with me on what we make of this text most broadly, its provenance and the steps to making it relevant to lived life), we’d have a basis to discuss some of these points fruitfully – as it is, I’m afraid there will be too much groundwork to prepare and perhaps that’s best left to some time in the future, as I do value the dialogue.
Best wishes!
I love women. Allah blessed this ummah with muslim sisters who have strength and courage to bear children, and raise them.
May Allah forgive the believing women, present and absent, past, and future. Those who are alive, those who have passed away. May he guard their chastity, and protect their honour. May he raise their status, and give them the fruits of Jannah.
Ameen,
Alhamdulillah, i’m not “gay”. and I cherish the muslim women of our ummah.
Mohamed, all I can say is: ignorance is bliss. Come down to earth dear bro. It’s all too nice and sweet over the moon up there but honestly I don’t know of anyone who hasn’t noticed the world is full of strong sisters. As if that was the problem at all!!
This begs for a counter-blog.
“Eye on homophobes.”
Yeah, cos there ain’t any gay sites on the internet(!!)
… okay. if the feeling to the same sex becomes the total barrier between Allah and the gays, why don’t the muslim gays do castration!? It will cut the chase, right?! So we don’t have any sexual feeling to ANYTHING!?
So if there is NO GAY in Islam, so it must be heterosexual OR castrated man! That’s a quite a great example to do! So no risk on celibating! No woman to be lied, and there’s just God to worship! It’s quite a solution, isn’t it?
Hey, I’m not laughing, and I’m serious when typing this! This isn’t a joke matter. Islam condemns gayness in any form. Free choice? Sure, it’s a false choice! Because there is no other choice other than being straight! What else? Woe them who’s born gay. I never have a sexual abuse but I know I’m gay since children! And I never get open up to anybody thanks to any treatment who says I’m sick and treating me like a dirty person!
And all good-deeds I would do would never COVER anything because I’m GAY! So in order to be unable to do any sin, I have to cut the abnormal, unhealthy yet natural feeling of being gay by castrating! It’s great, right? Every time I read the Holy Book I always feel to hate myself, I can’t life to be myself and what I am, as I am born with SIN!
You want to compare with people eating pork or having a wine? Okay! People make a wine! People make a ham of pork! They are outsource! But the gay feeling is from inside! And it’s an eternal dirty feeling you just can’t get rid of. Heterosexual would eventually marry, perhaps. And homosexual would have no one?
If heterosexual is naturally good and therefore created by Allah, so homosexual is naturally bad and made by devil? Masya Allah!! So, Allah just created gay man to fill the hell unless they’re castrated and celibate?
Thanks to make me feel worse than usual.
Assalamu Alaikum
I am a nineteen-year-old muslim. In reacent years I have started to think that I have a tendency towards men. At first side, I did not understand that this is an attraction. But as time passed I completely understood that I am a SSA muslim. I am not sorry, depressed or in bad situation because of being a SSA muslim. Because Allah (cc) gave me what I have inside me. I not responsible for having it. But I am very sorry, depressed for living a gay life for 8 months when I did very bad things that a muslim mustn’t even think of, including betraying to a community which tries to live Islam according to Qur’an and Sunnah in depth. I am seeking Allah’s forgiveness for this act of mine and trying to rejoin that community. But I am failing again and again. I want to put a end to this gay life and just be a good muslim throughout my life. I do not care being married, having children or what my family or relatives say, I just care what Allah says on the Judgement Day. I am ready to do everything to put a end to this and lead a life of real muslim even if it should be in solitude. I know it will be full of hardships. At first, to lead such a life seemed very hard for me because I was alone. But know, as I have learned that there are others like me and even some others who achieved this purpose I am no longer weak. I think this thing inside me is a trust that Allah gave me and I must take care of it. I think we, SSA muslims, are speacial, different from other people, have a dawa from birth and If we can be patient and endure it our gift will be greater than the others’.
Assalamu Alaikum
Wa alaikum as-salam brother,
Welcome to our site and please accept my apologies for the delay in approving your comment. Hope to hear more from you…
Mr. “Rizwan”… and everyone who thinks along these lines, that celibacy is a burden… I feel sorry for you. You are so close to truly understanding and succeeding in the idea that Allah SWT does not give us a burden we cannot handle, and you let your selfishness get in the way. Religion is all about preventing this self-interest, this clinging to desires that satisfy only you. Religion, any of the major religions in this world, exist largely to get people to recognize a larger self, to let go of their selfish desires and put the well being of others before themselves, and this may be why so many religions prohibit homosexuality. You think that you can’t handle being celibate all your life? This is ridiculous. Please expand your narrow mind and realize that this is truly a laughable “burden.” Why don’t you go whine to a child in a refugee camp whose entire family has been killed? A mother who watched her child die in her arms? Why don’t you go tell it to someone who stepped on a land mine and lost both their legs? Someone who was born without arms? Do you think these people have lighter burdens than you do? Do the people we recognize as heroes allow their burdens to inhibit them from leading a productive, religious, and/or compassionate life? You can be celibate and live. Or you can change. Even in your hardship, Islam has provided you with options, there is no reason for you to feel trapped. Muslims fast to recognize these things, that there are people in the world worse off than you. Fasting teaches you to be happy with what you have. Fasting and celibacy go hand in hand. Perhaps this is really the best path for someone with such unchecked self-interest as yourself.
In addition, gender relations in Islam have been obfuscated enough in recent years by both internal and external forces. At this point in time, we all need to work together to uphold, support, and communicate what Islam’s true teachings on gender are, those of a harmonious equality between men and women that creates a productive, moral, conscious and peaceful society. Contrary to the perceptions of one who may follow Western media, Islam is a religion well-equipped to deal with whatever obstacles are flung in it’s path, and make no mistake, it is a straight path (pun not intended…). Inshallah, the Muslim Ummah will be able to resolve the burden which “Gay Muslims” impose upon us as a whole.
Amena’s argument hints obliquely, and probably unintentionally, at a more fundamental aspect of this conflict between homosexuality-itself an identity non-existent before psychiatrists invented it in the late 19th century. Before psychiatry, gay people existed, but their preference for the same gender was not considered a central aspect of their personality, one did not concern themselves with identifying a gay, they concerned themselves with identifying someone who had same sex desires and acted on them, a subtle difference, and no less oppressive and ignorant-and larger societal change driven by macroeconomic factors that have torn asunder the delicate and complex structure of all societies, not just that of Muslims, but of everyone. People, especially us westerners, have become obsessed with the concept of self and self actualization. Industrialism and the associated commodification of everything including human life, as well as its massive proliferation of material possessions (in the USA and Western Europe, the average descendant of peasants lives better than Royalty 500 years ago could ever have dreamed) has fundamentally changed our relationship with piety. Since we no longer require a cohesive family unit to survive materially, the concept of family and its associated obligations has been cast aside with astonishing speed and heedlessness. All of us are dealing at some level with the feelings of aimlessness that accompany the lessening dependence we have on each other. A village on the edge of survival cannot say live and let live if a gay man decides to leave his wife and family and go live with another man. But a bustling city of 6 million takes no interest.
We once depended on the teachings contained in our religious texts to maintain a cohesive society. In fact, written language and codification of rules was an innovation introduced by the Abrahamic people in response to the transition to agrarian society that necessitated something more accurate than oral tradition to organize and distribute resources.
All of this has led, I think we can all agree, to a lack of piety. But it is not just on the part of the non-religious. My experience as US citizen has been that here many people who claim to be faithful pray to be seen praying. That is an equal if not greater blasphemy than to have doubts.
People have lost the sense of reverence instilled by their ancient rituals, ones which beg the lord to have mercy on us and maintained people’s sense of awe and wonder at an inexplicable, perfect, and powerful universe far beyond their own comprehension. What simple and inelegant words can say is only the puny comprehension of our insignificant, selfish, and insular human minds. To waste one’s time worrying about the lives and behaviors of others rather than personal shortcomings and the wonder of creation speaks to me of the worst possible perversion of divine word, which regardless of where it is sourced, entreats us first to worry about what we do that makes us unfit to be in the presence of God and after we have perfected all that is wrong from within, to cast our judgment upon others. We can never be perfect, we must continually be cleansed of our own evil, and therefore cannot cast judgment. God alone may cast us out of his sight, no action we may take can cast others from the sight of God. If I forbid my brother from the holy places and community in which we both worship God for his actions, the guilt is on my insolent and imperfect head, for I have presumed to both know the mind of God and defiantly claimed to be acting out his will. Who am I to say that I know what that is?
To tie this long and rambling post together, I state that it is my opinion that a true lasting faith, one that favors reverence and piety as well as wonder that God is so much greater than we can even comprehend, endures beyond the pressures of industrialization, changing economies, and rising standard of living. A faith based on imposing behavioral standards on others and following what everyone else is doing necessarily degenerates either into the cynical philosophies of either ’self actualization’ or gaudy displays of public faith, and whoring out the images of God and the prophets for societal gain. If you have found a way to reconcile your faith and homosexuality between you and God, it is not for me to question that, however you do so. Amena says that celibacy is the only option for gay Muslims, and I hope that works for him, but I don’t see how the actions of other gay Muslims should impose a burden on Muslims as a whole. You are more than welcome to pose questions to me regarding what choices I make, but so long as I cause you no harm, I ask you not to judge me. I can defy the will of God, but I cannot harm his plan for the world, he is more powerful than me or you, and I am just as likely to drink the oceans dry as I am to pose a burden on those who’s faith is strong, so I will leave the final judgment up to him.
-Josef
ASA
I have been reading this blog from the beginning and was wondering are there any GAY Muslim Sisters who’ve been struggling with this? I see and perhaps i am wrong but if not all the postings on here are from Muslim Men.
ASA
Salam brother Rasheed
Thank you so much for making this blog. I am a sister struggling with SSA. Brother, like the person above mentioned, there are no sisters writing for this blog and I would like to ask if you would like to have sisters write for it? I would like to contribute some of my thoughts and experiences in struggling with SSA as a sister. If you agree please let me know and contact me. I will try to check this blog again soon for your reply.
Hello everybody! To everyone posted their comment…
Let me say that I ran into this blog on the off chance, and I must say that I find it a pretty good forum for Muslim homosexuals, be they women or men. There’s a lot of contention and different important standpoints and I like this “brains struggle”.
1- I read all the comments in that page and let me make some straight ones. Through reading, I noticed that there are some bigoted commentators who stick to their guns, especially ping-pong players, lol. Mr. Fight4life, you are really impressive, you did well to choose to struggle than to give up. At least, this is what gays should do when things aren’t still clear. Mr. Bravooo, you opened a blaze on the page and you make an excellent fighter. I see that you’re trying to convince gays through your arguments to live as the way they are created. I agree and disagree with you at the same time. You’ll understand why!
2- Mr. Racheed -the owner of this blog- (if I’m not quite mistaken), you are a patient person as far as I see, but I’m disappointed when you dumped the discussion with Mr. Bravooo. You opened this blog to guide misled gays but not to leave them in the mud struggling, otherwise what’s the import of that blog. Your views, or rather you (with all due respect of course) seem to be subjective, i.e., you rely on Quor’an more than science though I do believe, thank God, that Islam is a scientific religion just not so on this matter as far as I can see. For you, gays aren’t supposed to live their own life according to what God said, period and without any further analysis.
3- Mr. Taleb Haqq in comment (13): You talked about wine and eating pork. It boggles the mind really. How could you state that homosexuality is forbidden as pork and wine? What sounds logical is that the three of them are kinds of temptation, but there’s a clean break dear bro. We all can drink wine and eat pork, and it forbidden for everybody, whereas homosexuality is a kind of natural sexual desire exactly as heterosexuality (on the grounds of its natural being only) but it is forbidden ONLY for some. You must be right if you said that wine and pork are proscribed as sex. This way, proscription is for everybody, and this would be fair.
4- Mr. Mohammad in comment (56): People who are not involved or affected should help or do nothing. Your whole comment is neither here nor their. You really drove me up a wall in your last sentence: -Alhamdulillah, I’m not “gay”- As though it is a sin to be gay or it is a damned thing or gays are no more than a piece of… Your comment harms more than it helps. However; I appreciated your sweet words to the Muslim women cus they deserve it but still I hate the first.
5- Mrs. Amena in comment (63): Your talk is really nice and influential. People don’t think the same way as you do. Considering other harder problems to erase one’s is an excellent way to think that there are those who suffer more than gays. Disabled people, for instance, those armless cannot live their sexual love life though they really want it. But then again, I have to pick some holes in your comment. Gays and, for example, disabled people or the woman who lost her child, etc. seem to be alike for all of them suffer indeed unpleasant experiences, but they are still different from gays. Their state is desperate by far because they can do nothing for themselves. The armless man can never get arms. The woman who lost her child can’t bring him/her back. But gays can live their life freely and this how their state stands out. People (Muslims) will disapprove, they can move to Canada for example where they can combine religion and an unfettered lifestyle.
6- Mr. Rizwan in comment (18): Like we say, you hit the nail on the head. Really this verse didn’t come to my mind. Why did God state that one should not burden himself with what it cannot handle and gays are supposed to live a celibate life? Normally this verse should be scrutinized unless it is used in a different context.
7- Mr. Joseph in comment (64): I figure you’re Christian or Jewish. Nice what you stated, by the way, you awe me an eye drip for all that long comment I read, lol. You found it a tad too odd to learn that gay actions impose a burden to Muslims as a whole. Well! This is the Majesty that is Islam. Muslims do try to correct each other’s mistakes and do care about each other to live a good life as a group. Just as when your feet hurt, all your body feels bad that you have to heal them to feel good. This is why bro.
Salam,
May Allah reward you immensely for your blog. Discussion of homosexuality is often avoided by Muslims, and seeking a solution for it is seen as unacceptable. We should change this approach and try to help our Muslim brothers & sisters.
Please remember us in your dua’
Salam dear brother A.N.
I don’t understand what you mean by “natural desire” as I believe that same-sex attractions are as a result of conditions that a person go through be it in their family environment or different situations that they may have endured. Homosexual activities are actually forbidden for everyone not just some…as are any sort of sexual activities outside of marriage even if they are heterosexual…
I think at the end we all agree that pork, wine, and any activity of sex outside of marriage are all forbidden in Islam.
Dear Brother Taleb Haqq,
I posted on your blog once but I dont see my comment anywhere.But anyways.
First of all,you say that homosexuality is not natural.The word natural is,philosophically,debatable.Secondly it is accepted by every body of psychiatry and psychology,including American Psychiatric Association(since 1973) that homosexuality doesnt fit the criterio of mental disorder or being the result of ‘ONLY’ conditioning and surrounding enviroment.From genetists to psychiatrists,a large body unanimously agress that homosexuality might have atleast half the genetic factor in it.And we know that genes cant be controlled.That is the sicentific view.Now if after this scientific revelation,you dont agree that Quran has any chance of being re-interpreted in a liberal sense,then two sciences are contradicting i.e Quran and mundane sciences.
I would love to debate with you.Please do contact me at dragon_heart_70@hotmail.com.I also run a blog at usmann.wordpress.com which deals with human rights issues to social issues to gay issues.
Thanks.
Salam dear brother Usmann. I beg to differ, it is NOT accepted by “everybody”. Most people in the world do NOT accept homosexual actions as OK. So, if the APA accepts homosexuality as not a mental disorder and not “only” a result of conditioning…what exactly does that mean? It certainly doesn’t mean that Islam is OK with it. Ethically, the majority of the medical professionals seem to be OK with a “woman’s right to choose” whether or not to abort a baby if she feels like it. Does that make it scientifically OK? And should that then cause us to “reinterpret” the Qur’an?
Hello,
I am a Muslim who struggles with same sex attraction. I have never acted on my attraction with another male. Please excuse me if my question is inappropriate, is watching gay pornography and masturbation/self anal stimulation considered a homosexual act. My question is whether I am considered one of the individuals who has not committed the act since I have never had sex with another man. Or whether commiting the act to myself is the same. I know that doing the act myself is wrong and disturbing and I wish everyday when I wake up never to do it again. However, my soul is weak and I struggle so much with this. A few weeks ago I decided to lose my virginity to a random girl only to rid myself of my same sex attractions. The experience was difficult as I had trouble perfoming. I am 26 and really want to get married and have children. I try every second not to think of the same sex attractions and I know they are wrong but even when I tell myself they are wrong I still think of them and watch pornography, It is like their is a shield in my head that when I say it is wrong it tells me to do it just one last time or that it is not so bad since I am only pleasing myself with no other person involved. My problem is that I can date back to being around 7 when I had same sex attractions. Please help me get rid of this disease in my mind that haunts me every second of my life. It is so sad that I have to go through this because it seems I have two lives, the happy amazing life with my amazing family that know nothing about my same sex attractions and the second life which is the unhappy me that thinks of same sex attraction almost every 5 minutes. Is it still considered repenting if you know something is wrong and feel guilty for doing it but still do it? I don’t know what is written for me but inshallah my struggle and the mercy of Allah will allow me to enter heaven in the afterlife. It would be a blessing if someone may at least ease my struggle by letting me know how I can make my attractions be only towards the opposite sex. I think that this is my only chance now to work on this as I still do feel attracted to girls some times but thinking of them sexually is sometimes difficult. I am sorry that my post is all over the place but this is the first time in my life I ever speak of this to anyone and so I just kept writing what is on my mind. Also, I appologise deeply if my questions and story may be too liberal and are sins in Islam (even sins that do not relate to homosexuality) but I am a Muslim who has not been practising by the book as I drink and gamble at times. I do, however, want to make it clear that I also do know that these are sins and that they are wrong and everyday work on ridding my sould of these temptations and would like so much to be a proper Muslim and inshallah I will give all these up very soon. It is just very difficult in the society I am surrounded by and my family is also very secular. I don’t see this as an excuse and this is why I am working on becoming a stronger Muslim. Please help me with my main issue though and refrain from commenting on the fact that I am a liberal Muslim as I really want to focus on my biggest struggle of same sex attraction. Thank you
Not directed at anyone’s statement in particular. Just a general comment I would like to make, seeing that this comment thread has run since 2006.
I would simply like to re-iterate the following conclusions after 18 years of trying to reconcile my homosexuality with what others tell me about Islam and homosexuality.
- Gay identity is a socially invented term, started in the West for particular reasons, does not simply have an equal construction in the Islamic world. Therefore, I do not consider myself gay, because it implies I have a certain set of values, which I do not.
- Homosexual desires are not choices. I do not choose to live a life that is far more difficult and painful than my heterosexual Muslim brothers and sisters. To suggest otherwise, that I am choosing a “lifestyle” because it suits me, is doing a great disservice to truth and Allah.
- On the day of judgement, we shall see who is right.
And I am really looking forward to it.
Homosexuality is not a decease…and if it was…it would be cured by medical technics not religious ones. Homosexuality is not a behavior or a “kind of moral conduct”. Homosexuality is a sexual orientation just like Heterosexuality and Bisexuality. Homosexuality isn’t against nature and is not related with abortion at all! A homosexual man or women feels sexual attraction for a member of the same sex just like a straight women or man feels towards a person of the opposite sex. They are at the same level. I am gay. Not because I fall in “lust” for men…or because I have temptations or because I’m just sinful. I am gay or homosexual if you guys prefer because I was born with a feeling inside my brain which I start to discover when I was around 10 years old. And it became stronger with puberty just like a straight men. quoting passages from the Quran is useless because the Quran talks about man on man sex calling it a lustful deriving sin. Guess what? I don’t feel lust for man. What I feel is much bigger and complex than that. I feel sexual and emotionally attracted by men like a straight man would feel towards a women. I’m in love right now with the most handsome and intelligent man in the world and We are in a 6 years old relationship. We are planning to marry one day…cause we migrated to other country so that we could live in peace. Cause what I realized is that homosexuality provokes anger not in Allah but in men! Where is love there is Allah. We are finally planning to buy the home of our dreams so that we can live together. I think I’m a good person and don’t drink alcohol I don’t smoke I don’t use drugs, in fact I’m a vegetarian, sometimes I do a lot of charity to secular organizations. I became an activist for human causes. . Really…at this stage of my life…I don’t care any more about ignorance, prejudice incomprehension and hell threats…but I do care when I see teenagers being really mistreated by others because of their sexual orientation. About gay men who turned straight? I don’t believe in those. They may avoid having sex with other man…They may marry a women but they will still be lying about themselves. And we must not forget about the degrees of homosexuality and heterosexuality as well! it’s important. I’m 100% gay I assure you people. if I can remember I think I have never had a “straight” feeling in my brain…(don’t remember very well). So…to the ignorants…please…grab a book! a science book ok? a psychology book or something…to the ones who don’t believe in sexual orientation? please! go inform yourselves or go to sex education classes…to the ones who think being gay is a choice? the same thing…To the ones who feel hatred against homosexuals? go to therapy! cause hatred and homophobia are the real feelings who can be learned. not sexual orientation! To gays who post comments? please…live your life, feel secure about your self. Don’t fall in promiscuity, don’t abuse of drugs, don’t even think about suicide! learn to love your self and others around you cause the way you are is the way Allah created you. Don’t forget that you are not alone! Instead of visiting web sites like “straight struggle or something” consult web sites made by people who understand you and who can help you feel better about yourself. Search for friends! not for haters! there’s a lot of Muslims who call themselves “principled and compassionate” who are nothing but wolfs dressed like sheep’s! Courage my friends! this is the only life we have and life is short! Why would Allah punish you for loving? why?? Isn’t He all merciful? Go ahead and be brave! If you are in a secret relationship? it’s really bad but pretending you are something that your aren’t is even worse. Parent problems? I had them…but I talked so many times with them I explained things so well…and now they are finally more comprehensive about me…Just to finish…. “eye on gay Muslims” ?!?! brother you better choose another name cause it’s damn scary! good bye PS: Sorry if wrote any error cause I’m not English
“No name” – the best advice I can offer is to sign up to the Straight Struggle Yahoogroup, for which details have been posted above several times: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StraightStruggle
You can do so anonymously, and your confidentiality is respected.
Mohammed – You commented on identity, and I agree with you. Then on desires, and I agree with you (though not absolutely). What you refrained from mentioning are ACTIONS, which are the things most relevant to a discussion on what Islam forbids or permits.
Davi – you have brought up lots of points in your passionate comment, so I won’t try to answer all in my reply, not least because they are mostly covered in other posts throughout the blog.
I don’t lack understanding of the concept of “orientation”, but I dispute it intellectually. Even if I grant you that it’s as you claim, that doesn’t change my religious opinions on what ACTIONS are permissible in the sight of Almighty God. And by the way, it’s strange to accuse others of closed minds when you have freely admitted that you won’t believe those people who say they have changed their “orientation”!
Assalamualikum,
I have done a lot of searching on Islam and homosexuality and found two types of groups:
1. Those who say I will go to Hell because I’m gay
2. Those who say homosexual sex is perfectly acceptable
You guys seem to be a more moderate group who reconcile Islam’s principle of modesty and chastity, with its tolerant and all-inclusive message.
I plan on visiting you more often.
Regards
I think much of this discussion centers on two points.
1) These feeling ought to be seen as a test by Allah azza wa jall and so one should persevere.
2) A person may feel attracted to those of one’s own sex, but to ACT on these feelings is impermissible according to the majority of Muslim scholars (old and new).
1a) Here’s the odd thing – I, who has homosexual feelings towards other men, remember my first attraction so vividly that sometimes even I cannot believe it. I was 9 and was attracted to a young bus driver on my route from school to home! I would be eager to see him and once on the bus would sit on a seat from where I could see him in the mirrors. I am sure that at the time I didn’t perceive that these feelings sprung from some latent sexual urge, but in retrospect I can see it for what it was – a young boy’s infatuation with an older man. Now what kind of test begins at 9 for heaven’s sake?
1b) What’s more, the bus-driver “adventure” was an initial sensation that became embedded in my psyche – and at the time I wasn’t even aware of the full implications of it – talk about being shortchanged: a test was being set up for me by building up a reserve of homoerotic feelings (which, not realizing what they were I was unable to resist). Then, when I had matured a little and was freaked out by suddenly identifying these sensations for what they were, I was suddenly initiated into a “test”. And unlike other tests – the test for heterosexuals for example – mine was one for which I could expect little guidance except: ‘it’s a sin’.
1c) For heterosexuals the guidance is get married because the urge itself is pure and should be fulfilled within marriage. My urge on the other hand was deemed foul and the ACT to which it directed, as a major sin. Thus in my psyche sex was tainted unlike for heterosexuals for whom it is all pure (with only one stipulation: do it inside marriage). Hence more enlightened guidance like, get married and these urges will be less powerful was an option already problematic because my sexual urge, which came more “naturally” than my concerted effort to make myself have heterosexual urges, was represented to me as the was’wasa of shytaan. That bearing down on me meant that the sexual act was always fraught with tension such that all the conflict in me screamed even loudly my feelings of being GAY! The more I resist being Gay the more gay I am! — QUITE A TEST!
2a) Okay lets assume it is a test and that the feeling is something for which I am not held accountable But isn’t it odd that the very set up of a social life in Islam is centered around segregation. This means that I never really get a chance to lower my gaze, to limit the chances I have of interacting with men (as would be the case between men and women). I mean I could theoretically walk around in a masjid and elsewhere constantly looking at the floor and refrain from having friends (or would that apply only to having attractive friends?!) – but how doable is this? My point is that this “test” is unlike other tests because our entire set up actually heightens the problem and does not facilitate us out of it or minimize it. I can be making wudu trying very hard to concentrate on my spirituality and then, look up and see a man with his sleeves and trousers rolled up, the hairs on his arms and legs dripping with water, his shirt a little clinging to him because it is wet in places and suddenly catch myself lost in a moment of sexualism, and have to say, as’taghfirullah. Now you may say a heterosexual man finds himself in these situations too but surely you can appreciate that my position is worse because I am in a segregated masjid (note: I am not calling for masajid to NOT be segregated). The point is, the test (assuming it is a test) is not only hard (one of the hardest I’m sure) but one that plagues my religiosity. How can I be in a circle of friends as I was recently listening to a sheikh and yet be battling to not look in a particular direction at a young man who caught my eye? Is this not a burden?
2b) When almost every other gay Muslim talks about suicide, is this not reaching the outer limits of burdensome-ness? I too have been plagued in the past by depression and thoughts of suicide. I never did it because I love my parents too much and they would be devastated to have their only son die. I also think I am a coward and think it takes some guts to kill yourself. I am also a breadwinner and so wondered what would happen to those who rely on my income (although, in the most tawakul sense, Allah would provide no doubt). But it is a burden that I sometime think I cannot bear. I suppose you will say, my being here means I can bear it after all – though that seems neatly self serving.
I feel at this point I should tell you a little bit about myself – I am involved in da’wah, I have lots of friends (some of whom I know I am attracted towards, but then that’s my test right?) with whom I always talk about how to improve the Muslim situation politically, socially and intellectually. I believe in the creed of Ahlul’Sunnah Wal’Jammah – although the “gay” problem plagues my mind. I attend many circles too. I feel myself as being in many ways a paradox, but I have learnt for the most part to live with it. I will get married – and in this respect I will coerce myself to be bisexual, I will please her in every way I can and will love her with all my heart. I have invested myself in other parts of my identity – A muslim activist, an aspiring Muslim academic (doing my PhD currently), hoping to do some psychotherapy courses – and simply say, that although I do not understand why Allah made me this way I will ask Him when I get an opportunity insha’Allah.
As for your blog, I understand what you’re trying to do, and wish you all the best with it but cannot bring myself to feel that you have “the” or “any” answers.
Wassalaam.
Salaam brother,
You have made a lot of interesting and valid points, while there are plenty of things I don’t agree with based upon my own considerations and study not only of the scriptures, but the realities. I wouldn’t suggest that we here have all the answers, but I think that responding to a few of your points may help you on the path towards Allah as long as you keep an open mind to what I’m saying.
My concern with some people’s arguments with us is that they’re not making clear their intention. If you disagree with us yet still strive to obey Allah by avoiding homosexual activity, which is forbidden (“majority opinion” is an understatement) – then really our debate is academic so I don’t worry. What does bother me is if it’s just a screen for the person to justify their actions. (“Nobody really understands so I’ll do as I like, and I’m sure God will understand.”) I actually don’t believe that this describes you, so I’m sorry for suggesting it but I wanted to underline this problem.
Firstly, describing SSA as a test is a theological point, which doesn’t remove it from being other types of phenomena, e.g. a psychological issue. Yes that can start as young as 9 or even less, and there are kids who (for whatever reason, including abuse) are sexualised even younger than that. Don’t make out that your test is the worst of all, as I’m sure a little thought will lead you to realise there are little children around the world now suffering the tests of poverty, malnutrition, disease and disability.. even though theologically we will state again that the *accountability* for your actions begins at the age of maturity.
True, our societies don’t provide much help – practically or through advice – for people with this test. But that is only a sign that people like us, who understand the matter more deeply, need to do something to improve this situation.
In order to keep my response brief for now, I’ll just point out that your first hurdle is a conceptual one. Rather than labelling yourself (even privately) as “gay”, just consider yourself to be a Muslim who has this problem (same-sex attraction, SSA) to be patient over until Allah provides him with the solution. Sincerity is the key to every good.
I wish you all the best brother, and please do stay in touch.
If anyone is still monitoring this forum, I would like to ask a question as an outsider: What is the origin and meaning or the word Islam?
Hello Josef,
The linguistic meaning (in Arabic) of “Islam” is submission, i.e. to the will of the Creator. It carries the root meanings of peace and wholeness, which are the results of this wilful submission.
What we refer to by “Islam” is the religion revealed in the Qur’an and taught by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him).
Thanks for the clear and concise clarification! It’s difficult for people like me with no background to really grasp at all the nuanced aspects of the Islamic religion.
If you would, I have another question: Is the meaning contained in the Qur’an arrived at through the explicit meanings of the words or through the enlightenment achieved through the recitation of poetic verse? I ask this because I know that my own Abrahamic tradition, Christianity, has suffered a great deal because of those who disembody the verse contained in the bible and use it as a source for quotes to tell people they are wrong. I have been told that Muslims have retained the role that recitation, the effect of creating words from air and meaning from the rhythmic vocalization, plays in bringing a person closer to god.
I have noticed that no one on this site is quoting disembodied verse from the Qur’an. I find it refreshing.
Thanks for your question, Josef. Reciting the Qur’an is indeed the right way to experience its essence, along with the written text. At the same time, meanings depend upon the text itself, which is revealed in the Arabic language, and interpreted by anyone who is willing and able to achieve specialisation in that field. That is not to say that ordinary people cannot appreciate the general meanings of the Qur’an, but deriving rulings requires specialisation just as any worldly occupation does, such as medicine.
I hope that helps, and best wishes.
You can paint a zebra brown, but when it rains, it will still be a zebra. Telling someone they must be heterosexual when they clearly are not is beyond cruel. That is what is “unnatural.” Same-gender attraction, sexuality and even long-term relationships have been documented among many dozens of animal species. So, you want someone to be miserable all his (or her) life, enter a sham marriage in which neither party is happy, all because of some words written some 2,000 years ago, when people thought the world was flat and knowledge of the origins of sexual orientation was non-existent?
How about this — live your own life. Stop telling others that God wants them to be heterosexual when they aren’t. God probably has a few larger concerns – like wars started by men, the oppression of women by men, and humanity’s general tendency to destroy the planet, his creation, in record time. This isn’t 5 B.C. People and ideas evolve.
Since you are clearly ignorant and malignant towards our religion, there is no point arguing with someone so closed-minded.
I said absolutely nothing about your religion. And, let’s get this straight (no pun intended), YOU are calling someone else closed-minded? Wow. That’s interesting.
Here’s the deal. Men have always used (or misused) religion to control others. You can wish and wish and wish that gay people didn’t exist, but we do. We pay taxes, we contribute to society, many of us live our lives in a way that is very similar to most others of a rational bent. And it’s actually a conservative value to support monogamous relationships. But, have your Web site. Feel like the king of the world decrying “those people.” But adhering to an old way of thinking just because you believe it to be true, doesn’t make it so.
And, by the way, I live in a democracy and since I have been respectful, I’d appreciate the same courtesy. All my best.
You have not been respectful; rather you suggested that our religious view is merely “all because of some words written some 2,000 years ago” – or suggesting our Prophet (peace be upon him) was ignorant about something you are enlightened about. Genetics don’t change morality.
http://gaymuslims.org/2006/05/29/genetics-and-morality/
You said “Stop telling others that God wants them to be heterosexual when they aren’t” – while if you’d bothered to read the site, you’d know we don’t say that.
“But adhering to an old way of thinking just because you believe it to be true, doesn’t make it so.”
Nor does doing something because it feels good. Good day, respectful man.
“Genetics don’t change morality.” Why don’t you just say, “I want to continue to judge people for being gay, so I’m going to.” That’s all it amounts to. And where, exactly, does “our religious view” get you?
Someone should stay celibate or enter into what will be an empty, false relationship, all because you interpret some religious writings as being against gay relationships? People should be free to live their lives. Period. How about the religious value of not judging others, lest ye be judge yourself? No one is perfect. But being gay doesn’t make one good or bad. We should be judged on how we treat others. Nothing more, nothing less. So you have a wife? Good for you. Is that worth an extra smile from God when you enter heaven? I don’t think so. He loves us all.
We made it clear in the post at the top what this site is about. We speak to people who care what Islam says, and those who identify themselves as Muslims. For anyone who doesn’t give a stuff, just get on with your own life, I’m not stopping you.
Aslaam.
Just wanted to say i have read this blog much interest and found it very refreshing. I am ‘Gay’, British Asian (Pakistani) and Muslim. I have no issues being muslim and gay. This is who i am and i am very happy. I certainly do not want to be straight – why would I? My father is a retired Imaam and i have 3 brothers, we were all brought up the same way but i’m the gay one. I came out to them when i was only 15 and now im 25.
They are not homophobic, ignorant or prejudice. I am still their son/brother and they still love me. I am sure they would prefer i was straight but that’s life.
It’s about time the muslim community woke up an dealt with this issue. At the end of the day people should grow up and mind their own business. Who cares if you’re gay – so what?? How does it affect your life? My faith is between me and Allah and not with the rest of you. I have plenty of muslim friends who know i am gay and have no issue with it. Some people are fat, thin, black, white, gay, straight, tall and short. We are all human and children of Adam (PBUH), so lets just get on living and Allah will decide our future.
Being gay is not an illness or a choice as many homophobic people would like to think, and we are not all screaming queens! I have straight friends who are effifinate. It really annoys me when people stereotype being gay as someone who is immoral, effiminate and spread disease. I certainly am not immoral, effiminate and or disease-ridden.
I was saddened to hear stories of guys/girls supressing their feelings and emotions and contemplating suicide. You should not have to go through this – yes it’s hard, don’t i know it coming from a family who are Imaams! Lol! I will definately be keeing my queer eye on this blog!
very interesting blog!
Salaam,
I am so glad that I found this website, its something which I can relate to after having determined that I have SSA. I’d like to share my story with all the readers.
From as young as I can remember, back in school, I have always been attracted to boys and never girls, it was just something which I couldn’t understand back then. Then when I moved to secondary school, my best friend came out as “gay” the abuse he recieved made me all the more determined to hide the fact that I was also attracted to boys. To me it seems like I have struggled with these feelings for ever, they only began to affect me more emotinally and mentally during my teenage years and young adult life. I struggled to make sense of it, I knew that Allah had said it was wrong, I knew the majority of society thought it was wrong, but then why did I feel like that? why couldn’t I be “normal”? What grave sin had I commited to be punished like this? I knew that I would never ever want to be with man, it was just these feelings that I needed to control. So I decided to try and turn myself straight, this introduced me to the world of pornography and ended up having a more adverse effect then I had imagined. I became addicted to pornography, gay pornography and I was still having SSA. I was never as religious as I would have liked, always reading the odd namaz and keeping a fast, but not as religious as I needed to be.
I never told a single soul that I was having these feelings, as I knew that my family would never understand and more than likely I would be expelled from the family due to shame. As the days, months, years went on my battle to save myself kept failing, I was sinking furthur and furthur into despair. I always blamed Allah for what I was, he had made me like that, he had given me these feelings even though he had said it was wrong. But the one thing I could never understand was why. Again I would turn my attention to the internet hoping to find answers to my questions, but like always I would always come across the two extreme sides of the Islam and homosexuality debate. The one side where the scholars would all agree that I was going to burn in hell for these feelings, and the other end where it was ok to be muslim and gay even though we were a minority. I began to harbour towards the “its ok to be gay” group, I guess it was to me seeming like I belonged somewhere, I had a label. I was GAY. But deep down I didn’t want to be that, I knew it was wrong, I knew that there had to be more to it. Countless nights I would cry myself to sleep, hating myself, thinking about how I could end all this. I even thought about suicide, but I couldn’t take a life over which Allah had full control.
The hardest part was trying to keep a straight face and live my life as normally as possible in the real world, whereas inside I was a dead soul living. I found it difficult to get through each day, the number of times I thought about spilling my secret out, just so that my guilt of feeling like this could be easier, but I could never manage. I was from a young age told by my mum and other members of the family that I was like a girl, my behaviour was feminine like. I struggled to hide these feminine attributes and try to make myself more masculine. Hoping that no one would notice if the odd attribute slipped out. I eventually became a recluse, both socially and from my family. I would always spend time just locked up in my room, being on my own. It was somehow easier to deal with it all. Whereas all the time, my SSA was still there stronger than ever and my addiction to pornography just getting stronger by the day.
This Ramadhan (2009) was when it all changed, I vowed to myself that I was going to become more closer to Allah, and hopefully he will help me through my problems. I kept all the fast, prayed all my namazs and for the first time, I read the Quran in a language I could understand. I read about how merciful, forgiving the Lord is, these sections touched me, often leaving me in tears. I read about stories of the hardships faced by prophets, mine seemed miniscule in comparison. I emerged from Ramadhan a much stronger person mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I kept up prayers and Quran recitation hoping to find some answers. Then I stumbled across this website and realised what it was all about. I know for a fact that Allah led me to this website after all my duas to him to cure me etc, but I have finally got the answers I needed, I can start living my life like I need to. I know that one day my parents will want me to get married, I’m not ready to get married and don’t think I will be able to. But that is something I will deal with when the time comes.
I admire all the work that has been put into this site and this hardship faced by plenty of people around the world. I was glad to find other people with similar stories to mine. I pray it goes from strength to strength and more people are helped by it as a result. May Allah commend you for your efforts. More needs to be done to tackle this subject in the Muslim faith, many scholars and members of the community just want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exist and hope it will sort out by itself. I can’t believe the lack of information on such a pressing, and current subject which is affecting so many people, I think so many people could find the answers required just by coming across sites like these. Hopefully Allah will help allow this topic to become less of a taboo in our society and we can be more open about it and help overcome it. Ameen
Thank You.
I love this site, I agree with you Rasheed!
I put your link on my website..
I’m from Indonesia, and I have a blog that support people who are struggling with their homosexuality…just visit it…
Thanks…